January 20, 2016

Script to Screen: Online Greenlight Review


1 comment:

  1. OGR 21/01/2016

    Hi Becky,

    Okay - well I think you're pretty much there, and I like very much the idea of Death keeping this spirit mouse for company, until he realises that the time has come to let him pass. Your big challenge lies in the set-up of all of this; you have to establish your lorry driver as 'death' and do so in such a way that works against all the cliches. We need to like him straight away, and also understand that he is lonely in his work. My sense is that your opening scenes need to show repetition and also 'long distances travelled' - so we get the immediate sense of how and why this job might be so isolating. Then we get to the scene in which he goes to collect a body and he finds the spirit of the mouse.

    This needs to be such a sweet, 'human' story, so I look forward to seeing how you develop it for the screen in terms of a complete script. In terms of character design, don't be tempted to go to 'realistic' - I think this calls for a Pixar-level of human character, so allow for some exaggeration and some strong shapes. The key thing is work against all the doom and gloom cliches, and just try and show the life of a long distance lorry driver. When it comes to the point where people go off to the after life, give that some thought in terms of design; it could be as simple as a single ordinary door in the middle of a long strip of road. My instincts are to get you to look at the work of Magritte, because his paintings combine mundane places with strangeness: